Not Becoming My Mother by Ruth Reichl

This book takes longer to sort out than it does to read. Reichl has written about her mother before, most notably in 'Tender at the Bone'. In that book she portrays her mother as iconoclastic, idiosyncratic, and a little bit of a nut. And a little bit dangerous. Reichl left home to save herself and her sanity, and no small piece of that was escaping her mother's sphere of influence.
In this memoir she revisit's her mother's life, not so much as a source of laughter but as a journey towards understanding someone that she really never scratched the surface on when she was alive. What she finds is both sobering and thought-provoking. The story doesn't excuse her mother's bad behavior, but it does shed some light on her, and a whole generation of women who came of age in the WWII era. Sadly, it is never easy to be a woman. The role is a complex one and you don't get an understudy, and if you either don't have birth control or choose to child bear, it becomes even more complicated. Reichl's book is more sympathetic and less of a story and more of a collection of impressions and feelings. She is sad to write it and that shines through. It did make me think about my life vis-a-vis my mother's and in the middle of life, that is a useful exercise to undertake.