Days of Awe

Yamim Noraim is a time of repentance. Repenting is a difficult thing to do right--it is not just identifying what you have done wrong. It is acknowledging what is wrong with it and going about fixing it--not a cosmetic fix either. Really going in and changing what is broken. That part is often times pretty challenging. this is one of the things about Judiasm that seems unrealistic--that we would be able to self-reflect, to identify what it is that we really screwed up this past year--hard, but managable. That we would be able to change the course of the things we set in motion, well, maybe. There are a lot of disincentives to do so--and often the situation is or has become complicated. Untangling the mess can be hard.
I have tried this year to be less of an entangler. It is hard for me to leave things to their own devices, but sometimes that is what is called for. Wise advice came on the heels of my father in laws death--it was that if what happened really didn't matter to me, if I wasn't going to be emotionally wounded by the result, that I should stay out of it. Never mind what is the right answer, never mind if people are making mistakes I am convinced they will regret. That I should step aside and really let those who care deeply make the decision.