Holiday Habits

There have been very few Christmas Days in my life that I have not spent with my parents--this, above all other days, is the one that we choose to share. This year they became acutely unable to come to my house, and since I had volunteered to participate in holiday coverage, I am unable to go to them. So we are involuntarily separated this year. My children will be spending the holiday with them at their house--my parents will not be alone and sick for Christmas, but it is an unexpected change. Which is cause for reflection. I almost always work the Christmas holiday weekend--only twice in the last 20 years have I not done so. But I also have always had a Christmas dinner (which is essentially a repeat performance of the Thanksgiving meal--it has always been that way, since my childhood--and since the Thanksgiving meal is my absolute favorite meal, I saw no reason to mess with that tradition in my adulthood). My parents have been coming to my house for this since 1985, when I was an intern. In 1986 I had a brief period where I hosted my mother's extended family every year for the holiday, and I believe that I have hosted as many celebrations of Christmas as my mother (to be fair, she had more siblings, and they used to rotate the honors when I was a child). It has been a decade since I have really participated in any way in the hoopla of the season--I can barely get around to wrapping my presents, I have not been able to get holiday cards out the door consistently in recent years (I made New Year's cards, to be on the safe side, this year), and while I always have a good assortment of cookies on hand, that would be true any day of the year--it is not holiday baking per se that I am involved with. But not having my parents here is a blow. So surprise, surprise. Here I am, in my 50's, and it is the first time that I am unexpectedly faced with a holiday without my parents--so all told, I have been lucky to have them both alive and well up to this point--they are fiercely independent, and more than a little stubborn, so I know that not coming this year and admitting it was too much was a struggle, and indicative of how hard this past month has been for them. Time to reflect on the gifts we have, rather than the obstacles, because we could get mired in those. Best of all, my children have had the gift of having them in their lives up into adulthood. So there is much to be thankful for, even though we cannot be together this year. Enjoy the day with the family you were born with and the family you choose. Peace be with you.