Hope Springs (2012)

This is a movie that has lots of star power and very limited appeal for anyone under 40 years old—which seems so unlike Hollywood, but maybe the additional opportunities for movies post-theatrical release will allow us to see more things aimed at an older age group in the future. 

The story is about a long-term marriage that has come to an end of its intimacy.  Kay (Meryl Streep) and Arthur (Tommy Lee Jones) have been married 31 years, and while they are not looking for love outside their marriage, there is not much evidence of it within the marriage either.  They have separate bedrooms and separate lives—Kay says that she is lonelier living with Arthur than she would be living alone, and I see her point.  She is so unhappy that she blackmails him to go to an intensive couples therapy in a sleepy Maine town.  The material is uncomfortable—the couple has to talk about how they have reached a point in their marriage where they have no physical and no emotional intimacy.  They clearly care about each other.  Kay valiantly tries to figure out how to manage oral sex in her 60’s as a means of saving her marriage.  Jones spends money on a romantic evening—but it turns out they need a little more time than the week allows them to rebuild the bonds that have fallen into disuse.

This was somewhat painful to watch, but I do think it is a realistic cautionary tale.  Make sure that you aren’t losing touch with your spouse—while Kay and Arthur haven’t had sex in years, that is not their only problem—they haven’t shared much else either.  Don’t let this happen to you!