Marriage Proposal

Today is the birthday of my spouse, and I have exactly one year of prior experience dedicating my thoughts and blog to him on this annual event. 

Here is the deal.  Marriage is an interesting institution.  I made a promise when I was ever so young that I would forge my way in life with another person, understanding almost nothing at the time about what exactly that meant.  It is my fervent belief that I am not alone in this.  Maybe it is that no one wants to admit that when they were young they really didn’t know all that much.  I certainly didn’t.  At the same time, I was sure that I did, in fact, know quite a lot.  So to admit otherwise is to call yourself naive at best and a liar at worst.  Who wants to slap that label on?  As Bob Dylan so aptly phrased it, “I was so much older then.   I’m younger than that now”. 

I realize that some people marry late, and others don’t get it right the first time and when they re-marry, they are older and wiser.  That is not my story.  All of our children are older than when I first met my husband.  So when I reflect on this long term relationship, I am reflecting on 30 plus years.

The things that I love about my relationship are many fold—probably the most important thing is the familiarity and friendship.  When we first met, my parents knew me better than anyone else in my life.  That is simply not true 30 years later—my spouse knows me best.  He knows what my values are, what my priorities are, and that often translates into a better understanding of how to approach both the positive and not so positive things that inevitably come up in a life together.  Those are things that have changed over time, and we have been very lucky to have changed together, and in similar ways.  That is important when we are facing a crisis, but I think it is also important in other ways.  We both feel  quite passionately about the importance of marriage equality—it is an issue that does not apply to us, but it touches the lives of people all around us—family, friends, coworkers, and neighbors.  It would be so hard to have an intimate relationship with someone who does not share your core values.  It would make solving all of the problems that arise in a lifetime so much harder to face.

So thank you for sharing my burdens and have a wonderful year, dear man.