There are a lot of things that happen when you receive a potentially life shortening diagnosis, as you might imagine. One of them for me is that suddenly things that had no significance for me now seem personal.
When I am watching a movie and one of the characters has a mother who died, I now think that that could be my children. Or there is someone who is widowed. That could be my husband. It is really very sobering. So while I have thought for a long time, since my youngest son was diagnosed with cancer fifteen years ago, that I was living life like there might not be a tomorrow, there have been very real parts of that that I have been missing.
So is that morbid or realistic? Probably a little bit of each. I will probably mellow on this a bit over time, and it probably makes sense to think about what I want to do for the important people in my life before I go. Because you just never know. But I hope to dwell less on it as time goes on and have it be more of the background noise than the foreground thoughts as I move into the next year.
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