It Was 20 Years Ago Today

Today is the 20th anniversary of the day that my youngest son was diagnosed with a brain tumor.  The world as I knew it ceased to exist, and a new one began.  The world where children died, maybe one of my children.  It was a shattering event, one that made me understand that putting one foot in front of the other is not always an option, or so incredible painful as to not seem possible.
One of my coworker's children was found dead a week ago from an undiagnosed aneurysm that hemorrhaged and they died in their bed, without calling out for help.  That could have been us 20 years ago.  We were lucky to be able to get help, but before we reached a hospital our son had lost consciousness and without emergent surgery would have been in a very similar situation.  There but for the grace of health insurance and an airplane to take us to a neurosurgeon go I.  It was months before I could make it through a day without crying, and nothing is ever the same again.  I know that grief changes but goes nowhere.  And today I remember it all, and give thanks that my child is still with us, but not all of us are so lucky.