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Tuesday, October 24, 2023

Pageboy by Elliot Page

This is a brave coming of age story, told by someone who is well known, but in many ways it is mostly not so much about coming out as a public figure but as a story of growing up and into yourself. The anecdotes are heartfelt, sad, humorous, and supremely captivating. I suspect that trans people everywhere will see some of their story in this, and for those who are not trans, it is an opportunity to hear what it is like. Page made headlines when he came out as queer in 2014 and again when he let the world know that he was a trans man in 2020. The latter revelation was Page reintroducing himself on his own terms. The former was more complicated. He kept both hidden for a long time, but there was a lot of speculation along the way. The author started acting professionally at the age of 9, but he had already learned to play a part. From his childhood as a “tomboy” to his days as a closeted celebrity, Page yearned to be someone other than the person others expected him to be. While the author describes his romances with other boldface names and shares anecdotes about unnamed Hollywood figures that will undoubtedly lead to speculation, he is primarily interested in examining what it was like for him to grow up repressing his authentic self. He remembers the heartache of unrequited crushes and the impossibility of forming authentic relationships while living a lie. He recounts bullying and abuse, from his peers and from his family. He reveals how his body dysmorphia led to self-harm and disordered eating. He testifies to the lifesaving power of gender-affirming care and a loving community.

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