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Tuesday, November 29, 2011

The Value of Thanks


The easiest way to happiness is one where you spend some amount of time every day reflecting on what you have to be thankful for, focusing on those positives, and appreciating them. The converse of that to let go of the things that are unchangable and not have that cloud over what is good and great in life. Easier said than done.
Thanksgiving is a time for doing just that--giving thanks. Families and friends get together to celebrate what we have. And the thanks giving does not have religious baggage involved. I heard a piece on 'This American Life' this weekend about siblings who are not able to have a meaningful sibling relationship because she is a non-religious Jew, and her brother has become a born-again evangelical Christian. They can't find a common ground upon which to meet because he believes she is damned. So religious holidays are out for them--too much tension. And in this example maybe they won't have overlapping things they are thankful for--maybe what they are grateful for are things other than each other. But I think it is brilliant to have a secular day of thanks.
I spent the weekend doing a mixture of what my everyday life contains: time with my nuclear family (some collegial conversations, some bickering), cooking, working, reading, cleaning up, and so on. In other words, nothing special, other than the fact that my child at college away from home was with us for the holiday. But that is what is great for me--that it is not a time to go overboard with specialness. It is a time to savor the ordinary and be grateful for it.
I am watching a BBC series set during WWII, which was a time that was not ordinary. Bombs were raining on the civilian population, young men were dying in droves, and food was scarce. Yet in the midst of it all, people were trying to do ordinary things--get married, get to work, get dinner on the table,. they would have loved to have nothing but ordinary things happen. It was hard to maintain moral standards in a time when bombs are dropping on children and you didn't know where your next meal would come from or what it would consist of. The Chinese curse of 'May you live in interesting times' comes to mind. I am thankful that despite all the challenges we face, that a global war is not a current problem.
So, moving forward into the end of the year festivities, I am trying to ride the tide created by an intense focus on thanks. May we all be able to live the serentity prayer: Please grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

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