Defining Marriage

Marriage equality is in front of the Supreme Court this week, and I am happy to say that if my Facebook friends were deciding this issue, it would be a slam dunk.  My newsfeed is awash with pink equal signs against red backgrounds.  This is really important, but the SCOTUS is probably going to take the easy road on it.  Justice Kennedy already said the most likely option for the Proposition 8 case, which is that the party that brought the suit cannot show it has been harmed by same sex marriage.

Justice Scalia, a man I rarely agree with, noted that the momentum for marriage equality is relatively new--"newer than cell phones and the Internet", so the SCOTUS should be wary of weighing in too definitively too early.  Those are interesting analogies, because of course there is widespread penetration across the country for both, and someone who suddenly opted for both of those today would not be seen as an early adaptor or a trailblazer.  In no time at all, those two things have become an essential part of everyday life--so too should marriage equality.

The most offensive part of the arguments in the Proposition 8 case revolved around the issue of marriage being about procreation.  I did look up an encyclopedic definition of marriage:
"Legally and socially sanctioned union, usually between a man and a woman, that is regulated by laws, rules, customs, beliefs, and attitudes that prescribe the rights and duties of the partners and accords status to their offspring (if any). The universality of marriage is attributed to the many basic social and personal functions it performs, such as procreation, regulation of sexual behavior, care of children and their education and socialization, regulation of lines of descent, between the sexes, economic production and consumption, and satisfaction of personal needs for social status, affection, and companionship."

Ok, procreation is noted as a part of marital package, but so are a lot of other things--and it is noted that marriage may not be between a man and a woman, so procreation is not central to this definition (which went on to say that for most of the history of time, marriage has also been arranged by families rather than about love, which I think 9 out of 10 people in America would say is at least a part of marriage today--ie. things change).
Why should you speak out strongly for marriage equality?  First and foremost because it is wrong--just like banning interracial marriage was wrong, this too is wrong.  It costs same sex couples money, it denies them basic human rights, and it is destabiliazing to society.  Same sex marriage is a vote for traditional marriage.  WIth heterosexual marriages ending in divorce 50% of the time, those of us in one of those need to hope and pray that we can add a few long standing same sex relationships to the ranks of traditional marriage in order to better stabilize marriage as a whole.  Conservatives should embrace them with open arms as well.  Couples who want to marry represent the old guard.  Let us embrace them.  I only  hope the SCOTUS sees it my way, because while change is inevitable, the sooner it comes the better.