The Sessions (2012)

Mark O’Brien, as depicted in this sensational movie, was a remarkable man.  He had polio as a young child, and spent the majority of his life lying on a gurney attached to a breathing machine.  I know he is one in a thousand, or one in a million who makes his life into something positive when all odds are against him, but he did it, and his story is worth thinking about.  John Hawkes, who played a back woods Missouri man with sketchy ties to the meth trade in ‘Winter’s Bone’, does an admirable job depicting Mr. O’Brien—my only thought was did he lose weight for the role or is he naturally that cachectic.

This movie depicts one portion of Mr. O’Brien’s remarkable 49 years.  He had attendants full time after his polio, and often they are not very lovable, but when he gets one who is, Amanda, he falls deeply madly in love.  Which doesn’t go well—he confesses his love, and his desire to marry her and she leaves him.  Immediately.  Running away as fast as she can.  It is the sort of reaction that might turn you off of love, but in some ways it turned him onto it. 

He is a religious man, who has a very enviable relationship with a priest (played deftly by William Macy, who I adore).  When he asks the priest about love—and sex—the priest gives answers that make you realize that Mr. O’Brien isn’t just a man who looks on the brighter side of bad situations, he is also lucky.  Mark decides to hire a sex surrogate to teach him how to love a woman.  Helen Hunt is fantastic in this role and her nomination for an Academy Award for her work here is well deserved.  At the end of the sessions, Mark is able to see himself as a sexual creature and moves forward into life as a man who can have a relationship—which he does.

The very sad part of the movie—besides his early death—is that he feels that his parents sacrificed their lives to give him a life.  The cards you are dealt are not just dealt to you, they are dealt to your family, and that is just the way it is.  You have to help each other, and the fact that Mark needed a lot more attention doesn’t mean that his parents had no life.  There is joy to be found  in helping someone live their life to its full potential, whatever that potential is, and he never really got that (at least in the movie—maybe he did in real life).  I suspect they saw it not so much as a sacrifice but as a part of what they had to do as parents.  Children come with no guarantees, and to use Mark’s own words, no ‘sell by’ date.  That is the deal.