A Balkan Vacation

I am a child of the Cold War. And I never took a world history course--in high school or after. It wasn't until my youngest son took an AP World History course that I knew much of anything about how the world has shaped up over the last 10,000 years. And I know impressively little about the world to the east of Western Europe, besides that Russia was on our side during WWII and after the war we had a falling out. So all those countries that made up the Soviet Union were more or less a mystery to me in terms of both history and culture.
So when my husband said he had a meeting in Serbia and would I like to come, it was on the one hand an automatic yes--I really try hard to make travel possible. But on the other, what I knew about Serbia was limited, and tinged with the press they got during the break up of the former Yugoslavia.

The Balkans, which are still not completely broken up--Kosovo is under the control of NATO and Serbia is not contented with that situation, and Montenegro is also a bit of a black box as well--and the history of the region makes it clear that peace was never attained in it's long and turbulent history. Located between Italy and Turkey, the Balkans had the dubious honor of being an essential path on the way from the East to the West and visa-versa. Which made them important but not independent. They have been more or less continuously occupied since the time of the Romans--true, the Romans got around--and left voluminous buildings in their wake (the Balkans are no exception to that rule--with 3,600 kilometers of Adriatic coastline, they were very accessible to the Romans), but the importance of the region led to it being taken over by a host of other invaders. Which makes the region complicated, both culturally and politically. It is not a straight forward post-Cold War story of violence, and an intriguing place to visit.

Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter and Spring (2003)

This film is something else. It is simple yet powerful. The message is clear even in the absence of talking. With minimal dialogue and only five major characters, Ki-duk uses the title's seasonal metaphor to track the phases of life and the lessons brought by the experiences of childhood, adolescence, adulthood, and old age. It is a gloriously simple concept that interacts with its setting -- a floating, quiet monastery in the middle of Korea's pristine mountain forests -- to ask crucially important questions about the power of individual will and the repercussions of our choices. It is majestic without grandiosity, heartbreaking without sentimentality. It gives voice to the age-old aphorism that how we spend our days is how we spend our lives--we can ruminate, discover, and assess their own journeys.
SPRING, SUMMER, FALL, WINTER...AND SPRING is a symphonic poem. Lizst develope dthe concept in music and Ki-duk appears to have found a way to do so in film. The film is suffused but not overpowered by the Buddhist philosophies that guide the lives of the Old Monk (Oh Young-Soo) and his charge, a preschool-age child who grows to manhood and beyond over the film's two-hour running time. The pair, who remain nameless throughout, tend and live in the sturdy but aged monastery that floats on a large raft in the middle of the lake. As a young boy (Kim Jong-Ho), he plays in streams and learns that life is a series of interconnecting points, whether it is the medicinal herbs he picks or the animals he finds to play with. As he reaches his teenage years (now played by Seo Jae-Kyung), his tranquil life with the Old Monk is upset by the arrival of a sick girl (Ha Yeo-Jin), whom they must nurse back to health. To tell more might ruin what is a slowly revealing flower of a story, blossoming into an astonishing portrait of two men and the common but difficult bond they share spiritually and personally. When bad things befall the one, the other is duty bound to respond. The conclusion is dramatic and surprising, yet it works. Life is a circle, but it is not a neat and pretty cirlce. It has rough edges and unexpected turns, even in an isolated and peaceful place. The film is sensational and the film maker is a man of his own making.

Dreams of Joy by Lisa See

This book is linked to a previous book by the author, 'Shanghai Girls'--but you don't need to have read one to read the other. They stand alone (and in fact it took me the first 1/4 of the book to remember that I actually knew the two older women in this book, Pearl and May, because their daughter/niece is the center of this book).
Joy is a niave girl in the late 1950's who dabbles in communist activism at a time when that was not just frowned upon, but actively pursued by a paranoid FBI and seen as sedition rather than youthful indiscretion. Her father is the first to pay the price for her choices, but that is really just the beginning.
In the aftermath of her father's death Joy finds out that her father is not her father and that her mother is her aunt (and vice-versa--her aunt is really her mother). The shock of them lying to her combined with her Chinese ancestry and infatuateion with communism propels her back to China in the midst of the Great Leap Forward.
Joy starts off optimistic. She finds that her father, while a famous artist, is also a persona non grata who has been sent to the country side for a little re-education. She accompanies him and then makes a fatal error. She falls for a country boy. Who she then marries. And it is seriously down hill from there for her. It takes a combined effort of her nuclear family to save her, and she travels the path that her aunt and mother before her did--leaving the mother land and going to the pormised land. The book is steeped in the culture and history of the time, all the while being a good piece of story telling.

3 Iron (2004)

When you are not managing your Netflix queue with any kind of vigilance, things that you read about and were intrigued by tend to creep up to the top without you really being aware of it. So when two films by Kim Ki-Duk, the Korean director, came one day I have no idea what I was in for.
The movie has almost no dialogue--so if you are loath to read subtitles and are not fluent in Korean, this could work for you. Tae-Suk is our main man. He has no home and very little money. All that he has to his name are the motorcycle he ran in on, a digital camera, and the clothes on his back. He plants brochures for Chinese food restaurants on people's doors and waits 24 hours before returning. If the brochure remains on the door knob, it indicates that its occupant is away. Tae then picks the lock, lets himself in, and lives in the house for one to two nights. He eats their food, uses their water, watches television, and cleans himself. In return, he fixes subtle aspects of the home. He washes stray clothes, he waters plants, he cleans the bathrooms; he repays the occupant back without them even knowing it. Before he departs, he makes sure to find a picture of the owner and their family and take a picture of himself standing next to it. He attempts to find a home for himself in the pictures of other families. He gets wrapped up in one house and one woman, which is the path we follow with him.
Kim Ki-Duk is a director who went to the 'show and not tell' school of filmmaking. His direction is pitch perfect, as he frames each shot with a delicate composition. His film slowly moves deeper and deeper into it's character's psyches without them saying a word to one another. The film isn't necessarily entertaining, but it is utterly fascinating throughout its entirety. It is atmospheric and thought provoking. Why does this woman stay with her abusive husband? Why can't he see how miserable she is? How does the silent stranger get a foot in her emotional door? The film feels like it was lovingly made, and then presented to the audience on a soft pillow for us to watch and learn decidedly unlikable things about marriage.

Bitter Melon Curry

We have a wonderful Asian vegetable table at our local farmer's market, where we routinely get long beans and bean sprouts, as well as fresh herbs--but recently my husband brought home some bitter melon. What sounds good about that? Other than we've never made it before? Well, apparently that is enough to justify the purchase--where was my sense of adventure, my husband wanted to know. It was sequestered safely amidst foods that I recognize.
He made a wonderful Bitter Melon Curry out of Raghavan Iyer's wonderful '660 Curries' cookbook--the result was a surprisingly interesting dish that had a balance of bitter, hot, a little bit sweet and a little bit salty, combined with an umami that you rarely see in a vegetarian dish.
4 small bitter melon
2 Tbs. kosher salt
4 Tbs. vegetable oil
1 c. finely chopped red onion
1 large tomato
1 tsp. garam masala
1 tsp. cayenne
1 tsp. sugar
1/2 tsp. tumeric
1/4 c. chopped cilantro, thrown in at the end
Cut off the end of the melons, peel them, take out the seeds and cut them up very small. The remaining pile of vegetables will be significantly diminished from when you started. Put the melon in a colander and sprinkle with salt. Let them sit for 2-3 hours to diminish bitterness, then rinse them and pat dry.
Heat up 2 tbs. of oil and fry the bitter melon until caramelized and brown, about 10 minutes, then set aside.
Heat up the remaining 2 Tbs. of oil and saute the onions. Add the tomato, garam masala, cayenne, sugar, and tumeric and cook until soft--5 to 10 minutes. Add the bitter melon, and about 1/2 c. water and simmer another 5-10 minutes. Serve with rice--the longer you cook it the less bitter the melon.

Cherry (2010)

Cherry, is as minimalistic as they come, but it achieves a degree of empathy, entertainment and pleasure that is rare.
Aaron (Kyle Gallner) is ruled by a very domineering mother. From the day he was born, she groomed him to become an Ivy League student and ever the compliant child, he achieved admission to one such school. He’s there specifically for a top tier engineering program and his mother picks all of his classes for him--with no input from him. He is also a talented artist, a skill neither of his parents condone pursuing. He breaks out a little and opts to take a drawing class as an elective anyway and that’s where he meets Linda (Laura Allen), a much older student who takes a liking to him. A coffee date leads to a dinner date and that’s when Aaron is sure it’s finally going to be his lucky night. The problem is, not only does he discover Linda has a 14-year-old daughter, Beth (Brittany Robertson), but a cop boyfriend, too.
All hope isn’t lost. Sexual tension still exists between Aaron and Linda, but now there’s some between Aaron and Beth as well. Well, most of that tension comes straight from Beth, who’s far beyond her years and has no problem telling everyone exactly what she thinks. Even while being pulled in both directions, Aaron nestles into the family quite nicely, so much so his peers take notice of his absence, he isn’t performing well in class and worst of all, his mother demands to know what’s going on.
This is not your typical college movie--although it shares some elements with the genre. Aaron is the typical incoming clueless freshman who’s at the bottom of the barrel in the sex department. Gallner really carries the entire film with ease. Not only does he have a fully fleshed out and interesting character to work with, he’s an absolute natural in the role. Just as Linda is drawn to Aaron by his innocence and big heart, so is the audience and that’s the element Gallner keeps consistent and highlights throughout the story.
But that’s not to say Allen and Robertson don’t have their moments, too. When Gallner isn’t rightfully claiming the spotlight, both women hold up quite well. Allen takes her character through a shocking transition, going from happy-go-lucky college student to someone with some intense emotional issues. Rather than take the transition to an extreme, Allen keeps Linda in check just enough so you can still sympathize with her, even in her darker moments.
The growth of Gallner through his adopted family--one of whom he would like more of a relationship with, but which one is the thing that keeps shifting--and his ability to move towards emotional independence and maturation is wonderful to watch.

Empanadas Express, Golden, CO

I have never before gone into a restaurant in the United States and been able to order arepas, but in a small strip mall restaurant in Golden, Colorado, that changed. Empanadas Express is a traditional Venezuelan food restaurant. You know that when you walk in the door because there are travel posters of Venezuela on the wall, flanking a Venezualan flag. The menu is a dead give away. There is Pabellon Criollo on the menu. The sandwiches are arepas, not tortas. They have hallacas not tamales. And best of all, the food is delicious.
I had my first arepa in Caracas in the 1990's, which was a time of relative prosperity for Venezuela. Caracas was a vibrant city with a European aura but South American prices. It was before kidnapping became common. And I fell in love with the arepa. The unique thing about an arepa is that the bread is made from cornmeal, and it has a grilled, crusty exterior and a warm soft interior. It is not a cornbread--more of a corn pudding with a chewy exterior. I had an arepa suffed with shredded beef, black beans, and a sweet fried plantain. Delicious.

Is It Really Altruism?

I do try to live in the realm of what George Vaillant termed mature ego mechanisms of defense whenever possible. These include:
1. Sublimation - transformation of negative emotions or instincts into positive actions, behavior, or emotion
2. Altruism - constructive service to others that brings pleasure and personal satisfaction
3. Suppression - the conscious decision to delay paying attention to an emotion or need in order to cope with the present reality; able to later access the emotion and accept it.
4. Anticipation - realistic planning for future discomfort
5. Humor - overt expression of ideas and feelings (especially those that are unpleasant to focus on or too terrible to talk about) that gives pleasure to others.
I dabble in all of these, but recently I had reason to pause. Maybe I am not as altruistic as I would like to think. I lent some of my things out, and I was very put out by how unthankful the recipients were. For it to be altruism, I should be doing it for the pleasure of giving, rather than for any short term rewards i might receive, and yet, there I was, bent out of shape to be taken for granted. it wasn't until I had finally gotten the borrowed items back and put them away (no easy task) that I finally got over it. So maybe I am just nice, but not mature.

The Uncoupling by Meg Wolitzer

This book is well written, with interesting characters that you care about what happens to them. But it also probes a universal subject--sexuality--with a slight twist. The book is neither titallating nor pornographic--it lies safely in the adult fiction realm--something you could recommend to your teenager or your mother without blushing, or revealing too much.
The book is inspired by "Lysistrata," the Aristophanes play where the women stop having sex with the men in order to bring end to a long war. In a ho-hum New Jersey suburb, high school drama teacher Fran Heller decides to stage the Greek classic, and soon enough, female students and teachers are afflicted with what English teacher Dory Lang describes as "a mild horror at being touched." It's not a war of the roses as much as it is a war of indifference to sex, of turned shoulders and unfulfilled sighs. A sudden and complete lack of desire.
No one talks about it. In many cases, the change is so subtle as to be unnoticed. But it has a chilling effect on everything. People argue more. There is less community spirit. The rythm of life is disturbed in infintessimal and yet very significant ways. It is a book that is light hearted, but the truths that it touches on are quite real. And the approach is one that doesn't make you defensive, it makes you ponder. Nicely done.

Brown Rice with Green Chilis and Edemame

2 green chiles
2 tablespoons plus 1 teaspoon peanut or canola oil
4 large eggs, beaten
Salt to taste
2 tablespoons minced ginger
1 tablespoon minced garlic
1/2 cup chopped scallions
4 cups cooked brown rice (2 cups uncooked)
1 1/2 cup frozen edamame
1/2 cup chopped cilantro
1 to 2 tablespoons soy sauce (to taste)
1/4 teaspoon ground white pepper

1. Beat two of the eggs in a bowl, and season to taste with salt. Heat a 14-inch flat-bottomed wok over high heat until a drop of water evaporates from the surface in a second or two. Add 2 teaspoons of the oil to the sides of the pan and tilt the pan to distribute. Making sure that the bottom of the wok is covered with oil, carefully pour in the eggs. Cook for about 30 seconds or until the eggs set, tilting the pan so that the eggs spread out into a thin pancake. Once the pancake is set and beginning to color, flip it over with a metal spatula and allow to cook for five seconds. Remove to a cutting board, and roll up the pancake. Cut into thin strips, and set aside. Repeat with the other 2 eggs.

2. Add the remaining oil to the wok, and then the ginger, garlic and scallions. Stir-fry 10 seconds. Add the rice, roasted poblano strips and edamame. Stir-fry for two minutes, scooping up and breaking up the rice, then pressing it into the pan and scooping it up again. Add the egg strips, cilantro, soy sauce, salt to taste and pepper. Stir-fry another 30 seconds to combine. Remove from the heat and serve.
The brown rice has a nutty flavor, the edamame adds a crunch, and the chilis add soem heat--you can add more if you like that flavor profile--this is adapted from a New York Times article, and it is delicious alone, or with a veggie stir fry on the side.