My Sister's Keeper

I felt that I needed to see this movie. I have a childhood cancer survivor, and when we were in the midst of our 15 months of surgery, followed by radiation and then chemotherapy, I was intensively involved in the community of parents whose child has cancer. I met a woman there whose eldest son had a third relapse of his leukemia. None of her other children were compatible bone marrow donors for him, and she openly considered the option that is the basis for this movie--to choose genetically compatible fertilized eggs and select to have a child who can be a donor for your cancer child. Before I had a child with cancer, I would have found the concept repugnant, and even though life was far from normal at that point, I could still remember the person who would shudder at the thought. But a small part of me saw that it would be a big battle for me to retain perspective if my child needed something we couldn't offer him. We did avoid donating blood to him, having a close family friend be his designated donor, so that if in the future he needed an organ we would all be eligible donors, so we have faced difficult choices and painful realities.
But surprise, surprise. The movie was not really all about the emotional experience of a child who has been conceived to be a donor for her sibling. Abigail Breslin does an amazing job of depicting the "it is what it is" experience that the donor child is relegated to. The movie is instead more about a parent who cannot face her child's death. The mother in this story is so far into denial that she is planning to have her healthy daughter donate a kidney to her dying daughter, when everyone but her knows it is futile. And the only ones trying to stop her are her children. Her cancer kid is ready to die, but doesn't know how to break it to her mother. Sobering. I have seen people go this route, so I have thought about this, but I have seen some parents do an amazing job of bringing their dying children home and making the most of their time left. I hope my life doesn't take that path, but if it does, please let me be merciful.
Did any of this make the movie easier to watch? No, it did not. My second son came home while I was watching it, tears streaming down my face. His immediate response was of concern--but I assured him, it was the movie. "I am never watching that", he said. "I lived it. That is enough."