It was 11 Years Ago Today

I love this photo design project that Lisette Gruelke did with a photo she took of Ethan and a poem he wrote.  It was when he was 11, and today it has been 11 years since his medulloblastoma diagnosis.
You may be able to lower your odds of bad events occurring to you, but you cannot eliminate them, and so it is what it is often.  No going backwards, no 'what if's".  So as we continue into the second decade post-cancer, ot would be nice to look forward more than we look backward.  Easier said than done, I am afraid.

One piece of making lemonade out of lemons for me has been a small non-profit that my friend Nancy and I have to publish four books on how to cope with childhood cancer and survivorship (http://childhoodcancerguides.org/). Major pediatric treatment centers have long purchased our books for newly diagnosed families, but not everyone is treated in such a setting, and as the information related to challenges faced by childhood cancer survivors related to their treatment increase, we hope that the books can be more generally available.  Our first attempt at disseminating this information toa wider audience began with getting a table at the American Library Association's annual meeting, and between ourselves and three of our children, we spread to word to anyone who would listen.  And it felt good.  We heard from all sorts of people, some of whom had very sad stories to tell, but it was really heartwarming to hear that we had helped them.  In a perfect world, no one would have to walk in the shoes that we have walked in, but second best is helping those who follow with information and hope that it is survivable.

Sing Them Home by Stephanie Kallos

This is the book that 'All Iowa Reads' is doing this year--while I never seem to get to any of the events associated with what is supposed to be a community building affair, I at least managed to read the book the year I was supposed to (something I only manage about once every three years).
'Sing Them Home is the second book by the author, and I very much liked her first, 'Broken For You'--this book is about a family. It is set in small town Nebraska, which is not critical to the plot but it does have a role. Hope, wife of the local obstetrician and mother of three, suddenly disappears in the aftermath of a tornado, never to be seen again. The bulk of the book takes place 25 years after her dissappears--her three children are brought back to their home town by the sudden death of their father--he was struck by lightening (lots of natural disasters to be found on the prairie in Nebraskba, it seems) and the book alternates between each of their narratives, as well as diary entries that their mother made. The three offspring are all broken, but as the story unfolds, it is hard to discern if it is related to their mother's presumed death or is it because of how she lived . There is a secret that unfolds as the book moves forward that makes everything that has happened since seem more understandable. A great rendtion of how a disabling illness affects not just the person who has it, but everyone in their intimate sphere of orbit. The causes of the problems are not explored--the pathologies are revealed, but it is up to the reader to resolve why none of Hope's children are capable of experiencing intimacy. Interesting read.

A Song of Innocence (2005)

This is not a movie about songs or innocence. The movie displays a number of disturbing human qualities which persist into our modern life. It is set in 1877 but lots of the issues seem familiar.
The movie opens with rising tensions in the household of a bourgeois architect, Julien, and his young wife, Charlotte. She has had a baby, having become pregnant on her honeymoon, and she is decidely conglicts on the issue of mother hood. She wants nothing to do with it, and he wants a boy, so they agree on this one child not satisfying their immediate desires. As is fashionable for the time, they hire a young peasant girl, Angele-Marie, as a wet nurse for their newborn daughter. That whole process is portrayed as highly sexualized in the movie--Julien goes to a house for unwed mothers, half of them appearing to him bare breasted, and he choses the woman who will feed his child--after tasting her breast milk, and watching it being coaxed out of her breast. Really? That is how it was done?

The mood in their household is strained. In Julien's absence, Charlotte and Angele-Marie discover that they have more in common than either woman expected. Charlotte is bored and lonely and she allows a relationship to develop between herself and the wet nurse. What she doesn't perceive is how destructive the relationship is for Angele-Marie. She actually thinks they are friends. She starts to fantasize about a life that she and Charlotte and their two babies could share, when in fact Charlotte has little interest in leaving her lifestyle and wants only to have her husband's full attention again. Julien makes no attempt to hide his distain for the relationship between the two women, and it isn't long before the situation threatens to turn violent. The ending is dramatic, sad, and preventable.

Grilled Squid with Melon, Mint, and Pumpkin Seed Salad

I returned to Donald Link's restaurant 'Herbsaint' in the Warehouse district in New Orleans for a meal. When I was in New Orleans last year, I had my favorite meal there, and I wanted to retread some of those steps. This salad was remarkable--the grilled flavor of the squid, balanced by the sweet melon and the earthiness of the pumpkin seeds, with mint and lemon flavors singing throughout the salad made it memorable and I I want to recreate it.
The grilled squid could be substituted with small grilled shrimp, or even chicken in a pinch.
Honeydew melon and watermelon in small diced size bites.
A handful of pumpkin seeds tossed it, and then the rest is lemon, mint, a sprinkle of pumpkin seed oil with salt and pepper. Simple and marvelous.

The Thinking Girls Treasury of Real Princesses

I was at the American Library Association (ALA) annual meeting in New Orleans and met some of the wonderful women of Goose Bottom Books (including the author, Shirin Yim Bridges, who penned this wonderful collection and is pictured here in front of her books). I was there in the first place because I am on the board of a small non-profit that publishes four books aimed at children who have cancer and their families. We are trying to get libraries to consider buying these books, so we got a table in the exhibition hall, where we found ourselves surrounded by other small publishing groups. I was there with my two eldest sons, and we are definitely book people at heart--but the sorts of things the people around us were doing, in terms of creativity and uniqueness, was impressive. Just our kind of people, it turns out.

My favorite of the group was the Goose Bottom Books people. I really loved their idea. They have a wonderful line of books aimed at younger girls and one that is about to 'hatch'. The initial premise is that girls are smart--they want to think about things, and they want to learn. Learn about what? How about learning more about real women? People who actually existed, who took charge of their lives and made a difference. Some we have heard of, some we have not. The series take a world-wide look at women of history--the series on princesses includes: Hatshepsut of Egypt, Artemisia of Caria, Sorghaghtani of Mongolia, Qutlugh Terkan Khatun of Kirman, Isabella of Castile, and Nur Jahan of India. All the major empires of the ancient world are represented, but most will be unfamiliar names--only Isabella, who along with her husband Ferdinand sponsored Columbus' voyage, is liekly to be recognized. So through these books, young girls (and boys) can learn about the early and second wave empires of the world. Brilliant!
The series about to come out is The Thinking Girl's Treasury of Dastardly Dames--women who are more infamous than famous--this crew includes a fair share of familiar faces--Mary Tudor ("Bloody Mary", Elizabeth's half sister), Marie Antoinette, and Cleopatra, to name a few.

The Dilemma (2010)

I am not fond of movies where the trailer promises slapstick comedy between two oversized men (Vinve Vaughn and Kevin James) but delivers a serious package about how to approach secrets, infidelity, and delivering bad news.  Fortunately for me, the later is much more appealing to me than the former.  But what is up with that?  Do they think we won't notice this movie has no more humor than would be expected to be found in everyday life?
In any case, the dilemma of this movie is a true difficulty.  Nick (James) and Ronny (Vaughn) have been friends since college--theirs is an 'opposites attract' friendship that they have spun into a business partnership as well.  Ronny is the salesman and Nich is the brains.  In the midst of a high pressure deal, where they have sold a product they have not yet been able to create and are on a deadline, Ronny sees Nick's wife cheating on him--in broad daylight and with such ease as to make it clear this is not the first time.
What should Ronny do?  He doesn't want to throw Nick off his work game, but he is also very uncomfortable with what he knows.  So he tells no one, and starts his slow progression towards implosion.  He starts slowly, but quickly gathers momentum to the point, where he is on the verge of losing his best friend, his soon-to-be-fiance, and his livlihood.  Ok, that's a lot.  The thing I liked abou this movie is that it portrayed male friends who are very close, but don't much express emotions in a very emotional situation, where everything that can go wrong does go wrong.  A cautionary tale that does have the occasional laugh-out-loud moment but is largely a drama.  Nicely done, Ron Howard.

Pork Rillettes a la John Besh

This was another wonderful dish from Luke Restaurant. It might be time to buy John Besh's cookbook....

1 pound lard
3 onions, chopped
1 (4- to 5-pound) boneless Boston butt pork roast
Salt, to taste
Freshly ground black pepper, to taste
5 cloves garlic, chopped
1 rib celery, halved
1 quart chicken stock
1 cup dry white wine
2 sprigs fresh thyme
2 bay leaves
1 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes

Melt the lard in a large enameled cast-iron pot with a lid over moderate heat. Add the onions and cook, stirring occasionally, until they are soft and translucent, about 10 minutes. While the onions are cooking, cut the pork into large pieces and season with salt and pepper.

Add the pork to the pot along with the garlic, celery, chicken stock, wine, thyme, bay leaves and pepper flakes. Increase the heat to medium-high and bring to a gentle boil. Reduce the heat to low, cover and slowly simmer for 3 hours.

Remove the pork from the pot and place in the bowl of a standing mixer fitted with a paddle attachment, and mix on low speed.

Remove and discard the celery, thyme sprigs and bay leaves from the pot. Slowly add the remaining broth from the pot to the meat in the mixer bowl, continuing to mix at low speed until all the broth has been incorporated back into the meat. Season with salt and pepper. Pack the cooled pork in a terrine or in small sterilized jars. Cover well and refrigerate. Jarred rillettes will keep for 6 months.

Makes 10-15 pint jars.

Biutiful (2010)

I did not love this movie, but it is well worth a watch, especially if you are one who likes to dance dangerously close to overdosing on the trajedy of the human condition. The story of Uxbal (Javier Bardem), a single father with terminal prostate cancer and the burden of a life without stability, is soulful, tragic and made with loving care. Bardem injects an appropriate amount of pathos into his performance, and is amazing. The movie is gritty and gloomy, and it is hard to know exactly how to recommend it, but it is well worth the 150 or so minutes it takes to watch it.
Uxbal lives on the margins of criminality in Barcelona. He manages a group of African immigrants who sells fake designer purses made by Chinese immigrants in a shoddy little factory. The movie captures the sense of the cyclical trap these characters are in. They depend on each other, even though no one is exactly dependable. A young Chinese mother watches Uxbal's daughter and young son while he's out hustling on the street—-they're all just barely staying on the treadmill....And getting off isn't a choice. Uxbal, given just a couple of months to live in the film's first few minutes, is desperate to provide for his children without coming up with any reasonable solutions. The mother is not an option--she is the personification of narcissistic unreliability. There are no relatives--no grandparents and his brother is snorting cocaine and partying with hookers. Uxbal is so obviously in need of help that I felt the overwhelming urge to leave a meal for him, despite the separation provded by the screen.
There is a magical realism that is typical of Latin movies--this was the least moving part of the movie was my least favorite part--though it may have great appeal for those who believe in the afterlife. The part I found most compelling was that Uxbal has someone who tells him he is dying that he needs to get his life in order, and despite that, because of the state of his life, he hasn't even told his children by film's end. Tragedy is well represented here.

Shrimp and Grits a la John Besh

I ate at Luke Restaurant in New Orleans and had a wonderful version of the traditional Southern dish--shrimp and grits. It had less of an overabundance of sauce, and wonderfully flavorful grits.

Grits:
1 tsp salt
1 c white grits
2 Tbs butter
½ c mascarpone cheese

Place 4 c water in a medium saucepan. Add salt. Bring to a boil. Slowly pour the grits in, stirring constantly. Reduce heat to low. Simmer until all the water has been absorbed, stirring frequently to keep the grits from sticking to the bottom of the pan. Stir in the butter and mascarpone. Remove from heat and place a piece of plastic wrap directly onto the surface of the grits to prevent a crust from forming.

Shrimp:
2 Tbs olive oil
1 ½ lb medium shrimp
Creole Seasoning (recipe below)
Salt
1/2 c diced andouille sausage
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 shallot, minced
1 roasted red pepper
1 Tbs fresh thyme, chopped
2 c shrimp stock (can substitute chicken stock mixed with some clam juice)
2 Tbs butter
1 tsp fresh lemon juice
2 c canned diced tomatoes, drained
1 Tbs chopped fresh chives
½ c fresh chervil sprigs

Heat the olive oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Season the shrimp with Creole seasoning and salt. Saute until the shrimp begin to brown but are not cooked all the way through. Remove from pan and set aside. In the same skillet, sauté the andouille, garlic, shallots, peppers, and thyme for about 5 minutes. Add the stock and bring to a simmer. Stir in the butter and continue to cook until the sauce has reduced and thickened a little.
Return the shrimp to the skillet and cook for 5 minutes. Add the lemon juice, diced tomatoes, and chives.

To serve, spoon a heaping ¼ c of grits into the center of a bowl. Spoon shrimp and andouille mixture over the grits. Garnish with chervil.

Creole Seasoning:

2 Tbs celery salt
1 Tbs paprika
1 Tbs coarse sea salt
1 Tbs ground black pepper
1 Tbs garlic powder
1Tbs onion powder
2 tsp cayenne pepper
½ tsp allspice

Caleb's Crossing by Geraldine Brooks

I am a huge Geraldine Brooks fan, with 'The People of the Book' being my absolute favorite. She takes an historical setting and an event that occurred, and builds a story around it.
The time is 1660. Bethia is part of a pilgrim community that has broken away from John Winthrop’s colony in Massachusetts Bay and settled on Martha’s Vineyard. Her father is forward thinking and even handed--he doesn’t believe in stealing from or slaughtering the local Indians, but his family faces ridicule on both sides. Some of the native Wampanoag are distrustful, and some of the island immigrants would like to get rid of the indigenous population altogether.
Bethia is our heroine, and the novel is told from her point of view. She is explicitly told by her father that as a girl, she is not to be too educated--there is no point. So her duller brother, Makepeace, is being grommed to go to harvard, while she is sold into indentured servitude to help defray the cost of his education. Given her upbringing, she is not entirely in touch with her feelings, and she displays no anger at this situation. She laregely does what she is told. But not entirely. She befriends a native boy. She does recognize that she is quite fond of the boy, Cheeshahteaumauck, who is the nephew of the most powerful (and suspicious) local pawaaw, or priest-healer. Bethia thinks it may be this friendship, and the Wampanoag rituals she has allowed herself to witness out of curiosity (or what we may call intelligence and a sense of adventure), that has caused God to punish her by killing her mother. So she is a creature of her environment and her time, which gives the book an understated tone throughout. Her rebellion is to treat her Indian friend, who becomes known as Caleb, as an equal, someone who deserves the opportunities that any man would have in the new America. there were times reading this that I wished the narration was livlier, but then that would have been out of place for both the narrator and the story. It is wonderfully written, with a rich detail for the history of the period.