The Waiting is the Hardest Part

It has been a month since I had my end of treatment visit.  We did not have a big talk.  In many ways, it was a long time coming and chemotherapy was definitely taking its toll on me in a lot of little ways.  But the thing about getting it is that you feel like you are actively doing something.  Intellectually I know that is faulty thinking.  It is certainly true that I have been pretty beat up by chemo this past year and a half, and a break in that has been a long time coming.  People ask me if it is fatiguing, and I really can't say with certainty.  But the fact of the matter is that when you finish, all there is left to do is wait, and that is very hard indeed.