Siblings have a life long
relationship. Marriages come and go. Parents are significantly
older, in many cases at least, than their offspring. So in the end, our
siblings are the ones we know the longest. I am fortunate to have a good
relationship with my brother—and the credit goes entirely to him. He has
always maintained good contact with me, and he has been a terrific son to my
parents and uncle to my children. He takes his family relationships
seriously and he is good at them. When we have had to make joint
decisions, he has been helpful, fair, even tempered and in good humor. What more could a sister ask?
My husband has great siblings as well. I hope that my children are as lucky
as we have been in their future relationships with each other. They
have grown up in a close knit family—part of that is by design. We are a
family that spends time together—both in the local sense, and in the sense that
we attend major life events in far flung places, and we enjoy it (no choice not to). Part of
it is bad luck. One of my sons had a brain tumor and that experience,
like any catastrophe in childhood, has consequences. One of them is that
it disrupts childhood in a not very good way—that part causes trauma in ways
that are difficult to predict, and may even be overlooked until there is real
trouble emanating from them. It is hard to watch and even harder to
prevent sometimes. The upside is that they all went through it
together and that made them closer. Part of the reason I hope for
closeness is that they will need each other in the future. Part is that I
hope they will take reasonable care of us when the end is near!
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