For some reason, the anxiety I have felt about my cancer relapsing has been harder to manage now, two years out from my diagnosis, than it was at the very beginning. As a trained scientist, I know that this is irrational. My chances of not responding to treatment were very real in the beginning, as was the chance of relapse. My odds are still no where near great, but the fact is that they were most decidedly worse quite recently, and I coped better. Which goes to show that rationality does not play much of a role when it comes to worry.
I often think that saying the thing that you fear out loud helps, and that has been a little bit true. Face the worst and you can take some steps forward. But it is definitely not a cure either, and so I have solidarity with all those who suffer from nagging doubts that can take over. It will help me to prepare for the worst, while I hope for the best.
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