Sibling Sonata

Siblings have a life long relationship.  Marriages come and go.  Parents are significantly older, in many cases at least, than their offspring.  So in the end, our siblings are the ones we know the longest.  I am fortunate to have a good relationship with my brother—and the credit goes entirely to him.  He has always maintained good contact with me, and he has been a terrific son to my parents and uncle to my children.  He takes his family relationships seriously and he is good at them.  When we have had to make joint decisions, he has been helpful, fair, even tempered and in good humor.  What more could a sister ask?  

My husband has great siblings as well.  I hope that my children are as lucky as we have been in their future relationships with each other.  They have grown up in a close knit family—part of that is by design.  We are a family that spends time together—both in the local sense, and in the sense that we attend major life events in far flung places, and we enjoy it (no choice not to).  Part of it is bad luck.  One of my sons had a brain tumor and that experience, like any catastrophe in childhood, has consequences.  One of them is that it disrupts childhood in a not very good way—that part causes trauma in ways that are difficult to predict, and may even be overlooked until there is real trouble emanating from them. It is hard to watch and even harder to prevent sometimes.   The upside is that they all went through it together and that made them closer.  Part of the reason I hope for closeness is that they will need each other in the future.  Part is that I hope they will take reasonable care of us when the end is near!

Marriage Proposal

Today is the birthday of my spouse, and I have exactly one year of prior experience dedicating my thoughts and blog to him on this annual event. 

Here is the deal.  Marriage is an interesting institution.  I made a promise when I was ever so young that I would forge my way in life with another person, understanding almost nothing at the time about what exactly that meant.  It is my fervent belief that I am not alone in this.  Maybe it is that no one wants to admit that when they were young they really didn’t know all that much.  I certainly didn’t.  At the same time, I was sure that I did, in fact, know quite a lot.  So to admit otherwise is to call yourself naive at best and a liar at worst.  Who wants to slap that label on?  As Bob Dylan so aptly phrased it, “I was so much older then.   I’m younger than that now”. 

I realize that some people marry late, and others don’t get it right the first time and when they re-marry, they are older and wiser.  That is not my story.  All of our children are older than when I first met my husband.  So when I reflect on this long term relationship, I am reflecting on 30 plus years.

The things that I love about my relationship are many fold—probably the most important thing is the familiarity and friendship.  When we first met, my parents knew me better than anyone else in my life.  That is simply not true 30 years later—my spouse knows me best.  He knows what my values are, what my priorities are, and that often translates into a better understanding of how to approach both the positive and not so positive things that inevitably come up in a life together.  Those are things that have changed over time, and we have been very lucky to have changed together, and in similar ways.  That is important when we are facing a crisis, but I think it is also important in other ways.  We both feel  quite passionately about the importance of marriage equality—it is an issue that does not apply to us, but it touches the lives of people all around us—family, friends, coworkers, and neighbors.  It would be so hard to have an intimate relationship with someone who does not share your core values.  It would make solving all of the problems that arise in a lifetime so much harder to face.

So thank you for sharing my burdens and have a wonderful year, dear man.

The Bourne Legacy (2012)

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The Bourne franchise is under new management.  Jeremy Renner stars as Aaron Cross, and he does a commendable job of stepping into the shoes that Matt Damon so recently vacated.  And big shoes they were.  The previous three Bourne movies put identifiable human stakes into the action equation, along with a sense of palpable moral outrage, politics and high anxiety action—and he ran circles around the American intelligence community with his uncanny smart and swift response to every unexpected twist and turn in the plot.  He was an American hero who didn’t wreak random destruction, who didn’t simply light the fuse with a wisecrack and walk away but dug deep into the mystery of why there was a chip in his body and blood on his hands.

This is a brisk and confident action movie.  It is not intellectual in any way shape or form.  Here are the basics.  Cross starts off the movie in the Alaska wilderness, making his way through physical and animal perils to a lodge, only to have it blown to bits by a drone.  Why is he being attacked?  The story emerges involving yet another secret intelligence campaign, this one called Outcome, which has produced enhanced operatives — like Cross — as ingenious and lethally skilled as Bourne.  But he has to take his performance enhancing booster pills on a regular basis or risk losing all his enhanced powers.  He wants to find a way to keep the powers, the military wants to bury all evidence of the project, and therefore him, before it becomes public.  Edward Norton as Colonel Byer is an excellent cold hearted killer by proxy who represents the U.S. Government’s ‘best interests’.  And the race is on.  Renner is excellent in his role as the hunted, Norton as the hunter, and Rachel Weisz as the aid de camp, the scientist who can help Renner remain the man he has come to expect himself to be. 

Lots of chasing—the whole movie is one long chase scene—but I like the underlying message, that we need to keep our checks and balances on the government and they in turn need to do the job they have been charged with.  Congress has seemed to have lost its way in that arena of late.  The Borowitz Report—almost always able to make me laugh, no matter how grim the circumstances—said it best:

“The House of Representatives adjourned this evening after the legislative body collapsed from exhaustion brought on by hours of doing its job.  Hundreds of congressmen complained of headaches, dizzy spells, and extreme fatigue after putting in what sources called “a six, maybe seven-hour day.”

May they live the life that they hope to inflict on others.  The Bourne Legacy is a nice diversion from the shenanigans of Congress, and it reminds us to stay involved as citizens because our government, overpaid and bloated as it is, is not capable of being trusted to do their job.

Gun Violence: How Bad Is It for Children?

It is really bad.

Prevention is the core of saving children. We aim to protect children from all things that can harm them. Injuries are the biggest threat to U.S. children over 1 year of age. In 2010, gun-related injuries accounted for 6570 deaths of children and young people (1 to 24 years of age). That amounts to 7 deaths per day. Gun injuries cause twice as many deaths as cancer, 5 times as many as heart disease, and 15 times as many as infections

This is taken directly from the New England Journal of Medicine Perspective column of Dec. 28, 2012 , written by Judith Palfrey, which is worth reading in full (http://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMp1215606):

"Since 1994, the AAP has conducted periodic member surveys to ascertain physicians' attitudes about gun safety and to see whether doctors are performing recommended screening and counseling. In both 2000 and 2008, approximately 70% of physicians reported that they “always or sometimes” asked whether there were guns in the home and recommended unloading and locking guns. In 2008, 50% of the doctors surveyed reported “always or sometimes recommending the removal of the guns from the house.” A recent AAP research analysis of these data show that doctors who live in states with high levels of gun ownership are just as likely as those in states with low levels to ask about guns in the home but are likely to counsel families about safe gun storage rather than removal.

In a randomized, controlled, cluster-design study by the Pediatric Research in Office Settings network, the intervention group that received specific gun-safety counseling from their doctors reported significantly higher rates of handgun removal or safe storage than did the control group. This study showed that families do follow through on pediatricians' recommendations about gun safety.



Despite this evidence, in 2011, Florida passed legislation, the Firearms Owners' Privacy Act, making it illegal for a doctor to conduct preventive screening by asking families about guns in the home — essentially “gagging” health care providers. Under the aegis of the Second Amendment, the First Amendment rights and the Hippocratic responsibilities of physicians were challenged. In response, the AAP's Florida chapter brought suit, and in June 2012, Miami-based U.S. District Judge Marcia Cooke issued a permanent injunction banning the state from enforcing the law. Governor Rick Scott has appealed the ruling, and similar bills have been introduced in three additional states.

At the federal level, problematic language was introduced into the Affordable Care Act. Section 2717(c) sets restrictions on the collection and aggregation of data on guns in the home. Furthermore, Congress has restricted the research activities of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) by stipulating that no funds that are made available for injury prevention and control at the CDC “may be used to advocate or promote gun control.” Strictures like these often have a chilling effect on the gathering of important public health data.

Based on this data, more children have been killed since the Newtown shootings than were killed there.  This is happening every day in America.

Egg Nog Ice Cream

This ice cream is so good that people were hovering around the dessert table, waiting for a chance to get seconds.

• 1C milk 
• 3/4C sugar 
• 5 egg yolks, 
• 2 1/4C heavy cream
• 2 1/2T bourbon
• 1T brandy
• grated nutmeg
• pinch of salt

Heat milk and sugar until sugar dissolves. Cool.
Whisk in yolks. Cook over low heat stirring constantly until mixture coats the spoon.
Strain into a large container.
Add the cream and liquors.   Add nutmeg and a tiny bit of salt.  Chill. Taste. If satisfactory, churn in ice cream maker.

You can omit the alcohol and it is still delicious, and reminds you of the season.  You can halve it if you want a lighter flavor.  It is a wonderful gelato-like ice cream.

The Violence Against Women Act is Important

What about the last election was so hard to figure out for the GOP?
Women and minorities fled from them in large numbers.  One hypothesized reason that emerged in polling leading up to the election was that the GOP does not share values with American women.
 And they lost the election, by every measure.  Additionally, this past Congress had the lowest approval rating on modern record.
So, as one of their last acts, they fail to pass the VAWA--driven by the ever unpopular House GOP.
Is their distaste for women so overwhelming?
Can they not imagine women that they know are being raped and beaten?
Or do they just not think that it is improtant?
Violence has an effect that ripples through society and affects every man, woman, and child in it's path--there is no safe haven from rape and domestic violence.

One provision that the House GOP objected to was the ability to prosecute non-Native American men who rape women on tribal land.  The epidemic of violence against women on tribal lands is staggering; 34% of American Indian and Alaska Native women will be raped in their lifetimes, 39% will experience domestic violence, and as a Department of Justice study found, non-Indians commit 88% of these crimes. Tribal justice systems are the most appropriate entities to root out these criminals, yet they are the ones with tied hands—restricted by antiquated jurisdictional laws established the U.S. government limiting tribes from prosecuting non-Native criminals.

The proposed tribal provisions in VAWA, passed with bipartisan support in the Senate, were left out of the main House of Representatives version of VAWA. Some members of the House are afraid non-Natives will be subject to tribal law and not guaranteed their constitutional rights.

The reality is the tribal provisions of VAWA are fully constitutional and offer every safeguard provided by U.S. courts – more importantly they are vital to curtailing a very real problem.
In a recent letter to Congress, fifty leading U.S. law professors outlined their confidence in the constitutionality of the legislation. At the core of the letter, the lawyers highlighted the Supreme Court case law supporting Congressional authority and the requisite safe guards of the provisions offered to every defendant.

I am just furious about this--I am not over the anger that I felt during the election season--that women are second class citizens in the eyes of the GOP.  That they are not worthy of equal protection of the law.  For the fictionalized version of the effects of this tragedy, pick up Louise Erdrich's most recent book, "The Round House".

Tamales a la Coyote Cafe

• 1/2 cup milk
• 1 1/4 cups plus 2 tablespoons fresh corn kernels (frozen supersweet work very well)
• 1 cup masa harina
• 3/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons butter, softened
• 1 tsp. baking powder
• 1/2 tsp. salt
• corn husks, soaked in hot water
• 1/2 cup shredded jack cheese
• 1/2 cup finely diced roasted green chiles

Simmer the milk and corn together over medium heat for approximately 5 minutes. Strain the corn, reserve 1 cup, and then puree the rest with the milk. Add the puree to the masa harina and mix with a spoon. With a mixer, whip the butter, baking powder and salt together until light and fluffy--this is the secret methodology that makes these tamales so light and fluffy, and will change how you think about tamales forever.   In approximately 1/4 cup increments, whisk the masa into the butter. This should take 10-15 minutes.
Divide the masa evenly between the corn husks. Depending on the size, you should be able to get at least 8 tamales. Spead the masa into a small pad in the middle of the corn husk. Top with a little cheese and chile. Fold the tapered end up over the masa, roll, and then tie the top with a piece of corn husk.
Steam for 30 minutes over boiling water. A chinese steamer over a wok works well for this purpose.

These are without doubt the very best tamales!  The butter is the key, of course, as well as whipping a lot of air into dough--so follow the slow but steady addition of masa.  It does mean that you cannot eat them often, but when you do, they are oh-so-good.

Ethan Does Dance Marathon

The University of Iowa is holding it’s 19^th fund raiser for childhood cancer.  The event is a 24 hour Dance Marathon, where hundreds of University of Iowa students raise at least $400 each and all of the proceeds go to childhood cancer—the kids, the families, research, education, support of survivorship programs, you name it.  The money raised, which now tops a million dollars each year, changes the lives of children with cancer and their families in Iowa for the better in many ways, both emotionally and physically.  They provide the best information available about how to cope with childhood cancer—both the treatment and the survivorship.  They support summer camps for children with cancer as well as one for their siblings—the experience of having a critically ill sibling is terrifying, and no one showers them with attention.  They also have little support and almost nothing in the way of peers who know what they have been through—camp changes all that.  They support college tuitions for childhood cancer survivors.  They provide critically needed research dollars—they can fund pilot projects so that investigators have the data to apply for federally funded grants.  These are just a few of the good works that flow from Dance Marathon.

We have reason to know—my youngest son had a brain tumor when he was five years old and spent a year receiving radiation and chemotherapy at the University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics.  While having a child diagnosed with cancer is a catastrophe in so many ways, the actual experience of receiving treatment was phenomenal for him.  He loved the hospital.  The inpatient unit had state-of-the-art technology available for every hospitalized child is just one small example of what Dance Marathon has accomplished—the depth and breadth of the entertainment that he could immerse himself in at the bedside was breath taking.  He looked forward to being hospitalized.  To watch him, you would never know he was getting chemotherapy—except for his lack of hair.  He was so happy.  I know that money cannot buy happiness,  but the financial resources that Dance Marathon provides to sick children and their families in Iowa does in some ways translate to happiness in a very scary circumstance.  He has been hospitalized at other institutions and they just do not have the same atmosphere.  

This year marks the first year that my youngest son will be a fundraiser and dancer, but this is his 13^th Dance Marathon. Every other year he has reveled in being special for one day.  This year he is giving back to an organization that has helped him and his family to cope with some of the darkest days we have had together.  If you would like to donate to his effort, here is the website:  https://osl.iowa.uiowa.edu/dancemarathon/donate/4/8491

Hologram for the King by Dave Eggers

This is the 21st century 'Death of a Salesman', and it is every bit as forlorn and accessible as it's prototype.
Our protagonist is Alan Clay, a 54-year-old American whose circumstances are because of his own choices, or bad luck, or a destiny he failed to see coming.

In the wake of the 2008 recession, Clay is a former upper middle class salesman whose job evaporated and whose income as a consultant has dwindled to an unsustainable pittance. He is divorced, indebted, and trying to sell his house in the midst of a housing crisis so he can pay for his daughter's second year of college. His vices are mild — he'll drink too much, that is about it—he's not degenerate, but he is desperate. He's got one last opportunity to close a major IT deal in Saudi Arabia; if he can pull it off, his commission will be enough to keep body and soul together, or at least get him back in the black. But we are skeptical from the beginning, because he does not exude success, and in this case he even does not understand what he is trying to sell. How did he get himself into this mess?  We do get a sense of that as the book unfolds, and we are at once sympathetic and happy to not be him.

The action here is subtle.  In fact, it is in slow motion. Clay waits. He waits for King Abdullah to come; every day, he travels to the remote, skeleton of an ambitious metropolis envisioned by the king.  He is not treated like a visitor to the king--that was his first clue that his chances of success are slim.  Although he has occasional blasts of a salesman's bravado and optimism, he generally believes that we are right--he will not pull it off.  This will not end well.  So in order to stave off the inevitable, he stays and he waits and he does not complain.

The novel is solidly constructed and elegantly told. This is sad, deeply sad--but in the end there is a strangely uplifting quality to it--in a kind of Cormac McCarthy way, but without all the evil and death.  The tone of this book is far away and somber.  Clay may not be like each of us, but he is an everyman whose irrelevancy can be seen as parallel to America's own.

Cream of Asparagus Soup

Asparagus definitely has unami.  This soup is almost addictive as a result.

I make this when I have a sizable portion of leftover roasted asparagus--to roast it, the oven should be at 375 degrees.  Trim the asparagus, toss with olive oil, salt, and pepper, and roast for 20-25 minutes.  Serve.

If you have over estimated the taste for asparagus that your crowd has--I have been buying asparagus at Costco lately, and the 2 pound bags are a lot, even for a family of 6-8--here is what you can do with the leftovers.

4 c. stock
1/2 lb. cooked asparagus
1 large onion, chopped
4 cloves garlic, minced
2 medium potatoes, peeled and diced
1/2 c. whole milk or 1/2 and 1/2

Saute the onion and garlic in a tablespoon or so of olive oil until soft.  Salt and pepper to taste.Add stock, potatoes, and all but the tips of the asparagus, and cook covered on medium heat until the potatoes are very soft.  Turn off heat and add milk or cream.  Puree soup.  Add in the asparagus tips, stir, adjust seasoning, and serve.