My oncologist had what I like to think of as "the Talk" with me at my last appointment. He acknowledged that while I had had surgery the week before and was getting chemotherapy, that is was time for me to end my stance as an ill person and move on with my life. On the one hand, I really didn't see myself as having put my life on hold. It was more like I was doing the best I could at the moment I was dealing with. Sometimes I was just too debilitated to not be the sick person. But overall I thought that I had been handling it more or less okay.
The good thing about someone saying something out loud to you is that it gives you a chance to take a second look at it, and in my case, be more deliberate about doing things right. I now try to think "Am I moving on or am I stuck?" and while my usual answer is that at I am at least doing it the usual way, in some cases I have been spurred on to do something different.
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