It is hard not to feel that 59 is cliche, but that is indeed where I am. I would probably spend more time worrying about how old I am getting if I wasn't so grateful to be alive and aging. A couple of years ago it was an uncertainly if I would even get a chance to be 60, and while it is still not a slam dunk, it is looking more hopeful now than it did then.
I have found it challenging to live from one oncology appointment to the next, although reassuring in the short run. I hesitate to make plans that extend further than three months out from my last appointment, which is a strange way to live. My plans go in spurts, where I have tremendous anxiety leading up to an appointment, and then a flurry of activity immediately afterwards, wanting to take full advantage of my new lease on life, only to go through it once again, and so on.
So today what I want to do is to focus on the good things that have happened in the last year. I have been actively quilting and making things again--I have struggled some with cooking as much as I would like to, but my crafty side has been fully satisfied. I have traveled extensively, knocking off a couple of life goals and hoping to get to a few more in the year to come. I have had great medical care and without that I truly would not be here, so that is a huge plus. I have been able to spend time with my family, both near and far, and may all of these things be true of the year to come.
Monday, May 21, 2018
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