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Wednesday, July 3, 2019

What We Had (2018)

This film relates to all of us who live in the modern way, disconnected from our past, and lacking in close family ties or prescribed ways of growing old.  The story is also about the kind of undying love of a man for his wife, even as her memory of their life together cruelly slips away from her because of dementia. It is further complicated by the fact that they had is not what either of their children have had, both of whom are struggling with connection and happiness in various ways. 
The exact pieces of the story are not so important as the emotions that underlie the whole situation.  Ruth (played pitch perfect by Blythe Danner) is slowly losing her memories.  She doesn't always remember even her husband or children, and while there are moments when she can see what is happening to her, her grasp on her own history is so tenuous that she isn't even that upset.  And she is wandering in a dangerous way.  Her husband doesn't want to move or to be apart, but the sibling who lives nearby (played by Michael Shannon) is at the end of his rope, so angry all the time about what he sees happening and his powerlessness to combat it.  The one who lives away (Hilary Swank) slowly tumbles to the stress they are all under.  The unpleasantness of the end is laid out in spectacular detail and is beautifully acted.


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