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Friday, March 25, 2016

Bumps and Valleys

I am now almost six months out from abdominal surgery and it is almost three months after my last intraperitonial chemotherapy.  I had my last drain pulled a couple of weeks ago and while I still have a wound infection and a few pockets of fluid between my skin and my abdominal wall.  Yes, that is weird.  It looks odd and it is more uncomfortable than I would have imagined it would be.   None the less, I am getting back to the pre-surgery me.  With the exception on a very impressive stem to stern scar the length of my abdomen.  Anytime they have to wend their way around the belly button, you know you are going to take a while to recover.  I have had mild to moderate abdominal pain throughout that time period, and was relieved to be off of cis-platin and able to take NSAIDs (motrin and the like) again.  One thing that I have gained a real understanding of is the process of living with pain that is both unpredictable and significant.  Yet another thing that I could have gone far longer in life without knowing, but one that does give me some insight into how challenging it can be to manage and live with.  It is early days for me, and I still hold out hope that once my abdomen is truly intact again that I will be able to strength my abdominal wall muscles enough to help ameliorate my everyday pain to the point where I am more like the 0-2 faces than the 3-6 faces on the pain scale.  If not, I will cope, but it does take time and psychic energy to do so.  Time will tell, but I hope that I will be more understanding of others in the future as a result of all this.

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