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Thursday, March 31, 2016

The Trick to Maintaining

I have recently entered the maintenance phase of my treatment for ovarian cancer, and I have been gradually getting used to what that means.  The most obvious thing is that I am through with the acute treatment for my cancer, but because what I have is so bad and so likely to come back that some additional treatment is indicated.  Just what that should consist of is not precisely known, but the general feeling is that as long as the chemo is tolerated and there are no lasting side effects that I should continue for a year after the acute treatment ends.  The less obvious part is a shift from aggressively treating the cancer and being more or less hopeful that once in remission one would stay in remission, now that is more of a waiting game.
I remember when we stopped chemotherapy for my youngest son's cancer.  He did not have maintenance treatment, so done was done, and in some ways it was absolutely torture.  I remember one of my friends, someone who does not have children, saying to me when she heard he was off treatment, "Oh, my God, you must be a basket case.  How can you stand the waiting?"  It was such a  contrast from everyone else, who kept treating it like a celebration.  I am tolerating the wait better this time around, more preparing for the worst and hoping for the best.  Also taking real stock in things and exploring my options going forward.  One foot in front of the other.

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